Light It Up: Canucks to Mandate Taillight Illumination

It’s a problem — one I’m sure you’ve witnessed. A hapless driver, plodding along a darkened highway with no taillights illuminated, mistakenly thinking their lights are on thanks to a bright dashboard and flaccid daytime running lights.

High on poutine and maple syrup, Transport Canada is having no more of it, announcing a new mandate requiring all new cars sold in the Great White North to have extra illumination starting in 2021.

The initiative also proves that someone within the Canadian government has a sense of humour, as Transport Canada says they’re going “ghostbusting to target phantom vehicles.” Break out the ECTO-1!

Transport Canada minister Marc Garneau, who has logged 677 hours as a spacefaring astronaut, described vehicles which drive in the dark with no lights on as “phantom vehicles,” a phrase keeping in line with the ghostbusting theme. Posing a safety risk, they are difficult to see in low-light conditions. Given that most of Canada is plunged into wintery darkness for what seems like eleven months of the year, this is not a wholly bad observation.

The safety standard requires all new cars sold in Canada as of 2021 to be more visible in low-light conditions, and will require manufacturers to build vehicles that do one of the following:

• Have daytime running lights and tail lights come on when the vehicle instrument panel is illuminated and the vehicle is in operation;
• Automatically turn on the headlights, tail lights, and side marker lights in low-light conditions; or
• Keep the driver’s instrument panel dark so the driver knows to turn on all the lights.

Some idiots drivers believe an illuminated instrument panel means the headlights and tail lights are already on, which may not be the case. Vehicles imbued with snazzy TFT screens ahead of the driver are often brighter than the sun, leading more than a few bewildered pilots to blithely claw their way along the freeway without giving any thought whatsoever to the status of their outward illumination or their fellow drivers.

“Phantom vehicles have been a nuisance and a safety risk on Canada’s roads for many years and I’m proud our Government is doing something about it. The new measures we’re taking will improve nighttime visibility and safety,” said Mr. Garneau, who is not currently wearing a space suit.

Some may grumble about Daddy Government legislating more equipment installed on our cars but, in this case, I’m okay with it. We’re never going to train all drivers to be as alert as we are. Not everyone is a gearhead (yes, I know that’s hard to believe) and, in fact, I remain convinced that a great cadre of people see the car as nothing more than an appliance to be tolerated. Look at the crowd who want us all in hypoallergenic autonomous pods, fer chrissakes.

Chime in below if you’ve ever encountered one of these mooks who drive without turning on their lights. The best story will be awarded $100 in valuable TTAC Bonus Bucks, which are completely fictional and not valuable at all. Points are doubled if the story includes a reference to ghostbusting.