Super Piston Slap: Thrifty Texans Trump Tailgate Theft?

Sajeev Mehta
by Sajeev Mehta

Yesterday’s post on Texas Tailgate Theft definitely struck a nerve with this Native Texan, especially the NCIB’s Quote:

“Since a tailgate theft takes just seconds to accomplish, consumers might consider using an after-market security device, such as a hinge lock to thwart criminals.”

Yeah, not quite…

Just a little trip to my local Home Depot.

Yup, a hose clamp…well not just a hose clamp, but that’s for later.

Thanks to TTAC commentator, Editor in Chief of another blog and all around nice guy, Mr. Lyndon Johnson (yes, really) for planting this seed in my mind. He posted a photo on Facebook of a rusty hose clamp around the tailgate hinge of his Ranger. It instantly made sense: even if you don’t have a few of these rattling around, why the hell wouldn’t you spend $3 for these?

Hose Clamp PROS: Cheap, easy to install, readily available and slows down a would-be thief to the point they’ll look for another tailgate to swipe. And its an extra measure of protection, even if you have a lock in your tailgate release handle. (As they aren’t too hard to punch out with a screwdriver, too.)

Hose Clamp CONS: The expensive-ish aftermarket alternatives are more theft resistant. And the clamps are kinda ghetto-trashy ugly, if you care about those Vellum Venom type of design hang ups.

Here’s how to narrow the gap between the clamp and the lock: level the playing field with a bit of silicone adhesive. You know, the stuff you already have in your garage.

It’s not rocket science: coat the screw head and clamp’s threads in the stuff. It’s an extra level of complication, and as the night photo shows, a bit more complicated to comprehend. It’ll certainly drive a thief nuts trying to scrape that crap off.

Only to then need to unscrew the clamp. And finally lather-rinse-repeat on the other side. Or just leave my rig alone, find another Texan not wise to the hose clamp + silicone trick.

Now you know what I know: what say you Best and Brightest? Should all truckers spend $3-4 on this anti-theft modification?

[Lead image: Shutterstock user Derek Brumby]

Sajeev Mehta
Sajeev Mehta

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  • 28-Cars-Later The platform is likely at the end of it's life cycle and GM decided probably two or three years ago to not put the R&D in to replace it. Now should GM emulate LX and Panther and just crank these out until there are literally no buyers? Yes unless they are somehow unprofitable, but unlike Panther and LX who had near monopolies in the type of vehicles they were Malibu competes with the Asian marques so someone decided in 2021ish to pull the plug.
  • Duties GM killing the Malibu actually makes sense; it is a poor also-ran in the category.  What doesn’t make sense are all carmakers trying to jam EVs down our throats, not because consumers demand them, but because a two bit, would be dictator says to.
  • FreedMike I agree totally that it is a mistake to kill the Malibu, but I'll say this for GM: of the D3, they're doing the best job of providing affordable crossovers that don't suck. I hear nothing but good things about the new Trax.
  • SilverCoupe The item on the back of the front seats with the wood and chrome surround appears to be an ashtray to me, though I do not know that to be true.
  • FreedMike Hell. Yes. And more of them should be of the affordable variety.
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