Crapwagon Outtake: 1994 Rover Mini

I’ve not yet had the pleasure of driving a classic Mini. Residing in Ohio, this isn’t altogether surprising, as the climate has not been kind to many older cars. Also, there’s the problem of not being able to actually fit. Someday, though, I need to give it a try.

With a production run spanning six decades, there are likely many Minis still seeing use as daily drivers in the UK. Like any other ubiquitous car, then, these are subject to the whims of the owners looking to give their rides some additional personality.

As it seems there are no Pep Boys in England, questionable modifications must come from other sources.

Today’s 1994 Rover Mini has been treated to an unusual rhinoplasty, using a donor grille and headlamps from an older Mercedes-Benz sedan. It’s in England, though the eBay listing is in US dollars. And it’s too new to import here, though I’m sure some enterprising lunatic might try to bring it over anyhow, thinking it’s some oddball limited edition worth a pile of cash.

After all, the brands of the former BMC/BLMC have been through so many hands that Daimler might have had some corporate ownership at some point, and we’ve just forgotten. The old-new Mini (R53 generation) had a engine built in a BMW/Chrysler joint-venture in Brazil, and Daimler owned Chrysler for a time. This could have been a result.

Or some bloke found some cool bits in a scrapyard and fitted them to his daily driver in an attempt to stand out and get more money on resale.

My admittedly dreaming thought is a compact tribute to the legendary “Red Pig” Mercedes-Benz race car of the ’70s, as shown above. Call it a “Red Piglet” or something. Needs more AMG decals, though.

[Image: Mini, eBay user mountainminis; Benz, By Jiří Sedláček (Own work) [ CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons]

Chris Tonn is a broke classic car enthusiast that writes about old cars, since he can’t afford to buy them. Commiserate with him on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.