Piston Slap: LS4-FTW, or Much Ado "Abboud" Nothing?

Sajeev Mehta
by Sajeev Mehta

Duncan writes:

Sajeev,

OK, I’ll bite on your request for more queries. Here’s a couple:

  1. I recently purchased a 2015 Genesis Coupe. I’ve swapped out the stock air intake for the R2C if, for no other reason, than to get rid of the sound tube pumping noise into the car. (At least there wasn’t an accompanying audio soundtrack. Looking at you, BMW.) The car rips at the top end (yeah, I know, for a V6… I know my place on the food chain), but I was wondering what you would recommend to boost low-end torque. I’m not looking for a supercharger-grade improvement; just a bit more off the line.
  2. My parents have offered to give me their 2002 Buick Regal GS Joseph Abboud Edition (low miles, driven to church on Sunday). It’s tempting to take it on as a project car. Assuming I acquire their sleeper and have $3,000 to spend on performance improvements, what should I do first… and second? Do you even try to address the handling, or do you just shrug it off and go for moar powah?

Keep up the good work!

Sajeev answers:

Quick and easy for the Genesis: After you read this fantastic write up on gencoupe.com, find an ECU tuner that can promise you an improvement in low-end torque. The factory tune often limits it for safety and emissions reasons, hence the need for a quality aftermarket tune.

Sometimes, though less often in the last 10+ years, the factory exhaust manifolds are a significant low-end torque restriction. Since damn near all modern engines have brilliantly designed cast manifolds, I doubt headers shall help, but researching deeper than Google never killed anyone. Or not, because you’ve maxed out the Genesis’ 3.8 without resorting to forced induction, NOS kits, or more displacement.

Hence the need for:

That’s right, son! Can you smell what the Abboud GS LS4-FTW Regal is cooking? I can!

Now I don’t wanna hear you naysayers suggest an overboosted, supercharged 3.8 V-6 instead. Your valid logic about it being (probably) cheaper and (definitely) easier to install on a GM W-body shall fall on deaf ears. Nor shall you mention the blown V-6 is powerful enough to grenade the (stock) transaxle on the drag strip’s first hard launch, hence no need to trouble yourself for two more cylinders.

Your facts are wholly irrelevant when I recline in the occasionally chocolate brown slipcovers of an Abboud Regal whilst indulging in the sound of a lumpy-cammed LS4.

As a founding member of the Brown Car Appreciation Society, the group that (probably) inspired the brown manual diesel wagon phenomenon, focus your entire life on that Abboud Regal. That whip — from the bad-old days of GM Beancounting when it was okay to cost cut even the Abboud’s uprated Brown trim — deserves a cammed LS4-FTW. It’ll be the best thing about the previous decade of motoring.

So drop everything and neglect everything else until you have The World’s First LS4-FTW Regal GS Abboud. You’ll certainly be my hero.

Send your queries to sajeev@thetruthaboutcars.com. Spare no details and ask for a speedy resolution if you’re in a hurry…but be realistic, and use your make/model specific forums instead of TTAC for more timely advice.


Sajeev Mehta
Sajeev Mehta

More by Sajeev Mehta

Comments
Join the conversation
44 of 111 comments
  • S2k Chris S2k Chris on Nov 03, 2015

    Abboud? Is that a real thing?? I thought it was the Mens Wearhouse store brand when I bought one of their suits for...something...once for like $300.

    • See 41 previous
    • Drzhivago138 Drzhivago138 on Nov 04, 2015

      @S2k Chris 37" chest, 30" waist. Nothing fits me.

  • Namesakeone Namesakeone on Nov 04, 2015

    Somehow, in the case of the Genesis, I think I would be inclined to leave the car alone, thus to preserve the best part of ANY (new) Hyundai...the 100,000 mile warranty. Any modifications would almost certainly void it.

  • Lorenzo You can't sell an old man's car to a young man, but you CAN sell a young man's car to an old man (pardon the sexism, it's not my quote).Solution: Young man styling, but old man amenities, hidden if necessary, like easier entry/exit (young men gradually turn into old men, and will appreciate them).
  • Wjtinfwb Hmmm. Given that most Ford designs are doing relatively well in the marketplace, if this was forced I'd bet it was over the S650 Mustang. It's not a bad looking car but some angles seem very derivative of other makes, never a good trait for a car as distinctive as Mustang. And if he had anything to do with the abysmal dashboard, that's reason enough. Mustang doesn't need the "Tokyo by Night" dash arrangement of a more boring car. Analog gauges, a screen big enough for GPS, not Netflix and some decent quality plastics is plenty. The current set-up would be enough to dissuade me from considering a new Mustang.
  • Lorenzo Aw, they don't need a designer - just put modern underpinnings on a 1955 Ford Fairlane. Stellantis could revive Chrysler and Dodge by putting modern mechanicals on a 1955 Imperial and 1955 Dodge Coronet.
  • Lorenzo For both models, and their larger Accord/Camry models, the crash test ratings are very close, but only for late year models. The pre-2010 Civic and Corolla both fold like a cheap suit in a crash. If you're looking for a safer 10 year old vehicle, buy a truck.
  • L&L I have a 2004 Xb right now the odometer reads 265,000 miles no mayor issues ,pay 14,500 . you don't need complaints about this lunch box the best .
Next