Volkswagen's Winterkorn Rattled By Non-Rattling Hyundai I30 – This Could Cost Careers

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

At the Frankfurt Auto Show, when all the festivities and pageantry are over, it is customary to stroll through the booths, stands and halls of the competition to find out what they have. The real research is done by faceless drones that pose as journalists or customers. The drones must have brought back alarming intell to Halle 3, where Volkswagen holds court: “Ach du mein Lieber, Hyundai fielded a fearsome adversary to the Golf with the new i30.”

The whole white-haired Volkswagen board dropped their coffee cups and invaded the Hyundai display, led by Prof. Dr. Winterkorn, CEO of Volkswagen. Winterkorn himself sat behind the wheel of the i30. The former head of Quality Assurance was shocked:

He pulled on the adjuster of the steering column, and heard – nothing. At Volkswagen, there is an audible (“klonk!) feedback whenever the steering column is adjusted.

Immediately, Klaus Bischoff, head of Volkswagen Brand Design was summoned. He pulled on the adjuster: No sound.

“Da scheppert nix,” exclaimed Winterkorn in his heavy Bavarian accent. “There is no rattle!”

Winterkorn was livid: “How did he pull that off?” He, the blasted Korean. “BMW doesn’t know how. We don’t know how.” He, the blasted Korean, must have found out how to battle the dreaded Scheppern.

Tension is high. This could affect careers. Someone quickly explains that there had been a solution, “but it was too expensive.” That gets Winterkorn is even more enraged. “Then, why does he know how?” For less money. He, the Korean. There is no answer. Hyundai has beaten Volkswagen at the Scheppern front.

Winterkorn measures the A-pillar, runs his hands over the plastic. He walks away, his entourage trots after him. Deeply in thought and very worried.

Winterkorn’s Strategie 2018 calls for a decimation of Toyota. Toyota will be behind Volkswagen this year. The new enemy, much to Volkswagen’s confusion, is GM. Now, with a silent i30, will Volkswagen have to fight Hyundai?

The Japanese are just as worried of the Koreans, and will gladly join a coalition.

(And if Hyundai snuck the original video on YouTube: Good for them. That’s how it’s done these days in the propaganda business.)


Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • Amac Amac on Oct 03, 2011

    I'm happy to sacrifice a little reliability to get a car that doesn't feel like an appliance. People who are passionate about driving aren't interested in Elantras.

    • See 2 previous
    • Eldard Eldard on Oct 06, 2011

      @eldard Someone on the internets said it best regarding old luxury cars vis-a-vis new cattle-class, err, mass market cars: Aged beef vs fresh spam, anyone?

  • Eldard Eldard on Oct 06, 2011

    VW also admitted to studying the Prius since they didn't know how to make hybrids at that time. And because they're man enough to do that (I want to see the Birch 3 try to be less arrogant), they became the 2nd largest industrial corporation in the world after Toyota.

  • L&L I have a 2004 Xb right now the odometer reads 265,000 miles no mayor issues ,pay 14,500 . you don't need complaints about this lunch box the best .
  • Jeanbaptiste 2022 Tesla model 3 performance ~35000 miles tires - ~$1000ish. Several cabin filters ~$50
  • El scotto No rag-top, no rag-top(s) = not a prestigious car brand. Think it through. All of the high-end Germans and Lexus have rag-tops. Corvette is really its own brand.World-leading engines. AMG, M, S and well Lexus is third-world tough. GM makes one of the best V-8s in the world in Bowling Green. But nooooo, noooo, we're GM only Corvettes get Corvette engines. Balderdash! I say. Put Corvette engines in the top-tier Cadillacs. I know GM could make a world-class 3.5 liter V-6 but they don't or won't. In the interior everything that gets touched, including your butt, has to feel good. No exceptions.Some think that those who pay above MSRP and brag about it are idiots. Go the opposite direction, and offer an extended 10-year 100,000-mile factory warranty. At a reasonable price. That's Acura's current business model.
  • Carrera 2014 Toyota Corolla with 192,000 miles bought new. Oil changes every 5,000 miles, 1 coolant flush, and a bunch of air filters and in cabin air filters, and wipers. On my 4th set of tires.Original brake pads ( manual transmission), original spark plugs. Nothing else...it's a Toyota. Did most of oil changes either free at Toyota or myself. Also 3 batteries.2022 Acura TLX A-Spec AWD 13,000 miles now but bought new.Two oil changes...2006 Hyundai Elantra gifted from a colleague with 318,000 when I got it, and 335,000 now. It needed some TLC. A set of cheap Chinese tires ($275), AC compressor, evaporator, expansion valve package ( $290) , two TYC headlights $120, one battery ( $95), two oil changes, air filters, Denso alternator ( $185), coolant, and labor for AC job ( $200).
  • Mike-NB2 This is a mostly uninformed vote, but I'll go with the Mazda 3 too.I haven't driven a new Civic, so I can't say anything about it, but two weeks ago I had a 2023 Corolla as a rental. While I can understand why so many people buy these, I was surprised at how bad the CVT is. Many rentals I've driven have a CVT and while I know it has one and can tell, they aren't usually too bad. I'd never own a car with a CVT, but I can live with one as a rental. But the Corolla's CVT was terrible. It was like it screamed "CVT!" the whole time. On the highway with cruise control on, I could feel it adjusting to track the set speed. Passing on the highway (two-lane) was risky. The engine isn't under-powered, but the CVT makes it seem that way.A minor complaint is about the steering. It's waaaay over-assisted. At low speeds, it's like a 70s LTD with one-finger effort. Maybe that's deliberate though, given the Corolla's demographic.
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