Picture Time: What the Hell Happened to This Town Car?

Corey Lewis
by Corey Lewis

Browsing on The Facebook recently presented me with an astonishing feat of custom bodywork, one I felt compelled to share in a very special Custom Edition Picture Time Edition of Custom.

It’s a one-off modification of a 2006 Lincoln Town Car, and you need to see it.

The original owner of this masterpiece was apparently a former attorney general (who undoubtedly had a home full of priceless crystal and gold leaf antiques).

That owner obviously hankered for days gone by, where one could purchase a grand Packard in the finest tradition of luxury and craftsmanship.

So, he decided he would modify a Town Car, purchased from his local Lincoln-Mercury showroom, and create the thing we see here. Modifications both front and rear have… occurred. It’s important to keep in mind the amount of money spent on this custom fabrication.

According to the listing on Detroit’s Craigslist, it’s a one-off “Signature L Special Edition Packard Series,” and only two of the words in that designation are real things: the Signature and the L (for long-wheelbase).

Interior modifications are fewer, and include a Packard placard on the dash and a horrible embroidered Girl Scout badge Packard logo on the wheel.

The seller is asking $8,000 firm, which is not the adjective I’d use to describe his logic.

I can’t.

Edit: H/t to commenter Dal20402, who dug up some information on the former attorney general owner in question.

[Images via seller]

Corey Lewis
Corey Lewis

Interested in lots of cars and their various historical contexts. Started writing articles for TTAC in late 2016, when my first posts were QOTDs. From there I started a few new series like Rare Rides, Buy/Drive/Burn, Abandoned History, and most recently Rare Rides Icons. Operating from a home base in Cincinnati, Ohio, a relative auto journalist dead zone. Many of my articles are prompted by something I'll see on social media that sparks my interest and causes me to research. Finding articles and information from the early days of the internet and beyond that covers the little details lost to time: trim packages, color and wheel choices, interior fabrics. Beyond those, I'm fascinated by automotive industry experiments, both failures and successes. Lately I've taken an interest in AI, and generating "what if" type images for car models long dead. Reincarnating a modern Toyota Paseo, Lincoln Mark IX, or Isuzu Trooper through a text prompt is fun. Fun to post them on Twitter too, and watch people overreact. To that end, the social media I use most is Twitter, @CoreyLewis86. I also contribute pieces for Forbes Wheels and Forbes Home.

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  • Alff Alff on Dec 04, 2017

    That landau would look so much better in Louis Vuitton print. He really cut corners here.

  • WildcatMatt WildcatMatt on Dec 27, 2017

    The overall silhouette is hideous, but I respect a lot of what they were trying to do. The hood protrusion sticks out too far and I think the grille tilt does a lot to throw it off. It didn't work on the Rolls-Royce Camargue and it doesn't work here. And yeah, if you're going to go this far, having a proper Continental kit out back is very necessary. The paint and rear fender treatment is actually kind of cool though, and this is the first recent car with a non-formal roofline that I've seen that I think manages to pull off the landau top.

  • Urlik You missed the point. The Feds haven’t changed child labor laws so it is still illegal under Federal law. No state has changed their law so that it goes against a Federal child labor hazardous order like working in a slaughter house either.
  • Plaincraig 1975 Mercury Cougar with the 460 four barrel. My dad bought it new and removed all the pollution control stuff and did a lot of upgrades to the engine (450hp). I got to use it from 1986 to 1991 when I got my Eclipse GSX. The payments and insurance for a 3000GT were going to be too much. No tickets no accidents so far in my many years and miles.My sister learned on a 76 LTD with the 350 two barrel then a Ford Escort but she has tickets (speeding but she has contacts so they get dismissed or fine and no points) and accidents (none her fault)
  • Namesakeone If I were the parent of a teenage daughter, I would want her in an H1 Hummer. It would be big enough to protect her in a crash, too big for her to afford the fuel (and thus keep her home), big enough to intimidate her in a parallel-parking situation (and thus keep her home), and the transmission tunnel would prevent backseat sex.If I were the parent of a teenage son, I would want him to have, for his first wheeled transportation...a ride-on lawnmower. For obvious reasons.
  • ToolGuy If I were a teen under the tutelage of one of the B&B, I think it would make perfect sense to jump straight into one of those "forever cars"... see then I could drive it forever and not have to worry about ever replacing it. This plan seems flawless, doesn't it?
  • Rover Sig A short cab pickup truck, F150 or C/K-1500 or Ram, preferably a 6 cyl. These have no room for more than one or two passengers (USAA stats show biggest factor in teenage accidents is a vehicle full of kids) and no back seat (common sense tells you what back seats are used for). In a full-size pickup truck, the inevitable teenage accident is more survivable. Second choice would be an old full-size car, but these have all but disappeared from the used car lots. The "cute small car" is a death trap.
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